|| Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter. The Midwest's most beautiful loser. Karl Welzein is really looking forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend. But in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us, he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.